Peace and Quiet...NOT

Every day that goes by it's becoming more and more clear that I am seriously struggling to find some way to write while being a stay at home mom.

Take this morning for example. I find that I can write better in the morning (which is opposite of how I used to be). So I check my email, get the boy settled in with Mickey Mouse and breakfast, and for about a half hour I have time to start writing. It takes half of that for the words to start flowing, then I manage to bang out a couple of sentences. Then toddler jumps on me. Concentration shattered. He goes away, I start writing again, then he decides that all his DVDs are toys and starts playing a strange toddler version of shuffleboard-meets-frisbee with them. Concentration shattered as I clean them up and then try to clean up the rest of the room. More emails to be answered. I try to de-stress by looking at writing related blogs after my angry tirade because toddler throws all the newly cleaned up toys on the floor... Thankfully, toddler starts playing nicely by himself again, so I look at my story... and then he wants a snack. I get the snack, and he wants me to play matchbox cars. The phone rings... and so on, and so on...

Now I'm mentally frazzled, and the last thing I want to do is write. By the time nap-time rolls around in the afternoon, I'm exhausted. Same thing in the evenings. At night the words don't come, even if I have BIC (butt in chair) with manuscript open. I'm too stressed and worn out. Nighttime is better for doing artwork or jewelry, not left brain word type stuff, where my hands seem to move on their own, with little interference from an over-tired mind.

This will all change when he goes to school, I know this. The problem is I'm putting way too much pressure on myself to keep up with my writing buddies/peers. Maybe I'm not supposed to take my writing to the next level right now. And maybe that's OK.

-k.

Nope, not fun

Literary agent Rachelle Gardner recently asked her blog readers, Is Writing Fun?

She quoted Nicholas Sparks, who, in a recent article, says, "Nope, not fun." (Okay, so he was a bit more eloquent than that.)

I too suffer from "love-to-create-stories-but-hate-to-write-them-itis." But once upon a time I used to muddle through anyway. And when the words were really flowing, I did actually find myself enjoying it. Until my editor brain took a look at the garbage that just spewed forth and, well, you can guess what happened next.

I think the problem is, because it's creative, I expect writing to be fun, or relaxing. For example, when I'm working on a painting, jewelry, or an illustration, I'm almost in this trance like state for much of it, this zen spot in my brain where I lose track of time, and I'm just DOING. Not to say it's mindless. The little art critic that lives inside my head is just as snarky and evil as the little evil editor dude I got.

But it's more right brain stuff. It comes from the same place that my stories do when I picture them in my head.

Writing is a bit more of a left brain activitiy for me. Imposing words on top of pictures. It's more difficult for me. The words don't come easy.

I'm going to try and adopt Spark's mindset, that, like him, when I sit down with my laptop I'm "going to work."

Enough of this hippie-dippie, free-art-loving mindset! I'm going to channel my inner Republican (wait, do I have one of those?)! No more Ms. Nice Gal. I've got a job to do, damn it.

-k